we have officially lost it.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
