i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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