I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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