I must be too annoying 4 u.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
