We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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