Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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