Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
