Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
