why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
