I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
