hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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