I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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