I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
