i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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