Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
