the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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