you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
