you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
