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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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