i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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