just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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