i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
