so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
