Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
