Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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