How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
