even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
