Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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