Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
