You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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