Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
