My nipple is on Facebook.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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