you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
