I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
