garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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