please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
