I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
