make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I believe in your delicious
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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