Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
