physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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