i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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