p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
