Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
