i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
