woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
