dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Your penis caused this!
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