I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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