My liver just broke up with me...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
