Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
