Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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