Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
barbara walters just said penis...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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