I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
