Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
