I think I died a long time ago.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
