Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
